As the summer winds down to an end (or who am i kidding summer is over as of today), I can’t help but feel plenty of feelings of sorrow. The deepest sorrow you can possibly imagine. I’m dreading the pool water turning cold (which it actually won’t do until at least November (what with the South Texas heat being at an extreme high all year long)), the color change of my skin when I lose my tan (the pasty beast beneath will soon be unleashed), and losing precious pool and movie time, and of course, I’m dreading school.
I know I should be lucky. Not everyone can afford to get an education (neither can I, I’m in Loan City), and not everyone can even get the opportunity to go to school. I’m just being a melodramatic first world kid complaining about my first world problems (one of which is that my wifi at home was way too slow up until two days ago, and why can’t I afford to buy FinalCut Pro for my Mac?). And the other of course being that I don’t like school.
When people hear my feelings on school, they all have the same sort of reaction:
“I thought you loved school!”
“Weren’t you all into your grades and sh*t?”
“Don’t you like going to school?”
“Didn’t you say you were going to miss Calculus when you die?”
And yes, maybe I was (somewhat) a grade grubber in high school, and maybe (just maybe), I did say once that i would miss calculus when I died (OKAY I DID SAY IT!!!), but that was just me trying to earn a top ranking in my class and express my (very undying) love for the subject of calculus. But I don’t like school.
“It’s just what people do, Laura,” my mom (always, always, always) says. “You get in, and you get out, and that’s it, you go on with your life. It’s not that hard.” (Says her (she always makes life seem like it’s a giant piece of chocolate cake!).)
Hi my name is Laura and my hobbies include running when I hate it, eating ice cream, and stressing myself out over everything.
And that’s why I hate school. I stress myself out (and worry myself sick) beyond belief over the smallest of things like picking what to wear (should I really wear these red shorts? What if someone thinks I look like a slut in them? I’m not a slut. Do I look slutty? Are these shorts too short? I always wear them, have they always been too short? Is that my butt? CAN I SEE MY BUTT IN THESE SHORTS? (oh wait, that’s not my butt) No, these look fine. Right? RIGHT? I’ll just wear my blue ones. When did these get so tight? And short! Oh my gosh, can you see my butt in these shorts– It goes on and on forever), picking what to eat, choosing what to do, I wish I could go on, but they’re so small, I can’t even think. So if I have extreme difficulty deciding which shorts to put on before I leave my house, you can imagine the stress I feel about waking up on time and getting to class and writing papers and taking tests and studying (and picking where to study because this is such a big decision, right?).
But my mom is right and school is just part of life. I hate it, but I’m good at it, so at least I’m lucky there.
So I have my stuff all packed and ready to go for my 8:45 class tomorrow morning. My pen, my paper, that one syllabus that that one professor made me print (and he will probably provide copies, thus wasting my ink), and my can of pineapple with my spoon (because there is something about college that makes me want to sit outside and eat pineapple straight from the can between classes (I am not joking, college makes me feel that way)).
It still depresses me to see summer go, but if anything, I took a lesson from this summer.
Laura’s Life Lesson #3: Never take a semester off unless you know that you will be completely, 100% mentally prepared to start up again the following semester (because God knows how much mental strength it has taken me to prepare for going back to school tomorrow (and God also knows that I’m maybe at 78% (not even 100) (and well now you know too)).
On another note, I feel like you should know that I replaced the Oreos in my desk with a package of Fig Newtons. (They have strawberry filling, so we are going to pretend like this was a healthy change.) Maybe I’m finally growing up.
I’m secretly hoping that this is the year I’ll get discovered for something. (YouTubing (is that a word now?), writing, acting, singing, blogging, anything really) And once I do get discovered, hopefully that leads to money so I can quit school before I have to finish. That’s the goal everyone, that’s the goal.