Envy Green

I just read an article that there was some study or other that showed that intelligent people stay up later than average people (so maybe that explains my awesomeness because i stay up unnecessarily late doing unnecessary things). I think I’m a pretty smart person so I guess it only makes sense that I be intelligent right (on account of the whole staying up super late all the time thing)? But at the same time, you would think someone supposedly so intelligent would be able to make decisions easier right? Well I’m a crap decision-maker (like I’m talking can’t even decide what to eat when I’m hungry(or worse what to do when with friend (I say friend because the plural of such a word is unnecessary: we have already gone over the small amount of friends I have))).

Anyway, to be honest I am not all sure what I’m supposed to write tonight because I feel like the skies are not so clear right now (like my mind is really cloudy and I can’t really think). But I guess I can tell you that I like to put off decisions because decision making stresses me out. In fact, this summer, I’m really hoping to get some sort of internship, but this summer, I am also the maid of honor for my cousins wedding (I KNOW I KNOW RIGHT? WHEN DOES STUFF EVER GO RIGHT??). Not that I am going to get any internships, but even if I did, I have my cousins wedding smack dab in the middle of when it would be. Can we talk about how much that sucks?

So during the two weeks between Spring and Summer 1 I was really planning on doing the study abroad trip and taking the class I really wanted to take (which I am taking this semester because you know I can’t take it abroad), but I can’t because I have to take time to fly to Tennessee where my cousins wedding will be in order to do some maid of honor stuff (or whatever because what to maids of honors do?!????). I have to blow off two weeks of my favorite subject in England (which, according to my really good British accent is my home country) to go to maid of honor stuff (I hope my cousin never finds this).

But okay I will also just admit here that I am also pretty peeved because I’m totally of jealous of her!!!!!! I know I’m only nineteen, so no, I am not jealous of the fact that she’s getting married. I’m just jealous because she’s twenty-two and seemingly has it all figured out! She’s going to med school and getting married, basically the next five years are set for her (she’ll be in med school and doesn’t have to worry about dating cause she’s found the love of her life(which I think should be credited to me because I am the one who told her to date him(I am the reason for her marriage))), and that really makes me extremely jealous.

I have trouble deciding what to eat, and she’s deciding to marry boys. Somewhere along the line the decision making gene didn’t get passed to me (and I’m super pissed).

Maybe I just complain a lot.

But you know everything stresses me out.

But either way, the color of the day is envy green.

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