You know that overwhelming feeling of: “I should be doing was more than I’m doing right now I just can’t decide where the heck I’m supposed to start first.”
DO YOU KNOW IT?
I know it.
I am it.
And I’ve done every little thing in my planner. But it’s still there. Nagging like that stupid buzz of that dang mosquito you just can’t seem to catch. But your skin is still swelling up all over the place because that same mosquito keeps on biting you.
I feel like I always feel like I should be doing something. It’s what leads to the stress. And then I wind up eating candy to destress, and then I wind up crying about the fact that I’m probably gaining weight by the second.
And then that’s when I stop and realize that my sport is writing.
Really! Think about it!
You get better over time. You train. You practice. You compete! Writing should be a sport, come on. The best part about writing is that I don’t have to look good in tights to do it (though looking good in volleyball tights would be nice…but I’ll keep dreaming). And I don’t have to be able to run a mile in under 8 minutes either! So once I realize that if people ever like my writing, chances are they won’t know what I look like. Right? (Unless I get my picture plastered across the front cover..which I’ll be honest, I just might do. I love pictures. I can’t help myself) They’ll love me for my words!
Right now, I feel like I should be writing some of my novel that I have yet to finish. But I’m not. I’m blogging instead. And I’m only blogging because I haven’t blogged, and I thought I should. But before this I was watching movie on Netflix….while also thinking about what else I should be doing. And now I’m making plans to go eat wings with someone in two hours…so basically..I am just so unfocused. But maybe a full stomach will help me focus a little more.
I just realized that every time I set out to blog, I set out with no goal in mind. I always want something specific to write about, but I can never think of anything. ANYTHING. My imagination is crap these days. I blame school. I can’t wait for summer…where I will also be doing school, but then in the second and third month. I get relaxation. Writing time. ……And I just went off track again.
My point with the whole no goal thing is that I always end up rambling. But do people like my rambling (do they? I don’t know. I had one guy tell me he enjoys when I get off track, but he’s my friend…so he has to say that?)? I don’t know.
The whole mind going a million miles a minute is definitely a killer. I just want to be able to sit here and not think about that billion things I should know that I have to do, but that I don’t know if I have to do or not.
This is too confusing already.